Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
