i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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