Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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