all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
