Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize