i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
