Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
