ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
