Buhtt sex?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
