Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
