Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
