I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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