he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
