i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? 😭😭
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
