try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
