The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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