So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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