So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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