still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize