I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
