What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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