just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
