what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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