none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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