did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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