so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize