I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
