As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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