I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
