I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
