I molested 6 butterflies tonight
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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