It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
