Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
