kristin has been a bad kristin
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
