im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
