She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
