Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
