he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I will be naked everywhere
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize