Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
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