I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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