well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
