its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
