im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
