Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
