Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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