There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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