Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize