haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
