I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize