worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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