I am in a vortex of obligation.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
