"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
