The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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