Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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