why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
