One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
