As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
