Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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