From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I still have a little drunk in my system
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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