Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
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