I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
