Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
