Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
