I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
