I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
