You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
