TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
