my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize