I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
