I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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