I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
