Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
