Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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